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New Year Old Me

Happy New Year to  you all.

So a new year and some plans are in the pipeline. More work on this website by my tech elves. More photos and videos for you all. Maybe photos and videos of myself and a sub.
Other things too. I am quite discerning anyway but from now ownards I am getting stricter of who deserves to be my Sub. After all as a Domme I have the right to say No. 

I have incresed my minimum age critera from 18 to 21.
I have posted elsewhere on this website that I vet and reserve the right to work with any subs of my choosing or not.

Cheapskates will now be ignored. If you want to barter and think that  tributing to me is too much. I'm not going to engage with you anymore. I am resirving my valuable time for the genuine Subs. the ones who know and understand what Submission actually is. 
I am coming off some social media sites...quite franly they are not worth it. Too many scammers and too many trolls. I will still be active on X for the time being.

 But going forward most of my interaction and work will be on sites that Subs go to to search out a Professional Dominatox.
Its not all bad news. I have more wonderful Subs. they know how to make mistress happy, I cherish each and every one of you. You know who you are. 


On Timewasters

Lets discuss the elephant in the room shall we. Timewasters, fantasists and cheapskates. 

Social media is a great tool for connecting with people. But it’s also prone to being abused. And my DMs are always open to people who want to make contact and arrange something. I am not one of those Dommes who say ‘Approach!’ and expect a sub to do all the work. Sometimes if someone looks interesting I will approach them. But a lot of my DMs are from porn site sellers and crypto scammers. The Pornsites just get ignored and  the Crypto scammers get short shift. And by the way it's not scamming, it's theft. You want to steal my hard earned money. You will get everything that's coming to you! But most of us can spot and weed out the Crypto scammers (Anyone who wants to only communicate on a messenger service that does not record its messages like KiK or Telegram is the first red flag. However i’m not going to tell the other Dommes and subs because there are Scam artists who pose as Dommes how to suck eggs. )


So let's deal with the rest of the list.

 I have had my time wasted and my time is valuable to me. If I choose to engage with you on a messenger service that is my choice. I have people I talk to in the sub/dom community just as I have people that I chat to via messenger in my ‘Other’ life. But if you want my friendship and interaction then please be interesting. No one word replies or continual repetitive phrases. The Mind is a organ that needs to be stimulated as much as the body. I also do not have infinite reserves of paitence. I will not continally message you , while you type back one handed. Once introductions are made then make a booking to see me, or for a online session. I take a deposit off new subs. 

I get it. I do. I understand the male sex drive (I am happily married).  And I am somewhat flattered that males want to pleasure themselves over pictures of me. And to be honest, if all that  you want to pleasure yourself over my available pictures and videos then there's really no need for you to bother with messaging me. 


Oh deary me. This is a problem all us Dommes face. Conversations such as ‘I want to be caged and ignored, why should I tribute for that?’* Or one I saw recently where a Sub attempted to engage in some kind of Double or Quits method of payment if the Domme could make him cry out. - That's not a challenge worthy of any Domme, that just shows something..that the sub is a cheapskate. Th
e whole ‘I want something for nothing.’ Wow that's just plain disrespectful. It shows the sub does not place any value on their chosen Domme. And please don’t undervalue what we do. An experience with me is worth it. Good isn't cheap and cheap isn't good.

*Well thats quite simple. You are using the facilities, If you are being caged and Ignored then it impacts on other session time.  


Why does Submission feel ‘Good?’


Ohhhh how to answer this one, I was asked this by a sub.  And although my standard answer is ‘Did I give you permission to speak!’ I thought I would try and shine a little understanding onto this common question. 


I am not a Doctor and I do not dress up as a nurse, But read on.

The short answer is brain chemistry. It feels good  because when we do certain things then our brain and body produces chemicals and hormones. Accept it, Thank your Mistress and move on.

The longer answer is there are different types of ‘Happy hormones.’  

The big four are: Dopamine, Serotonin, Oxytocin and Endorphins. And although they all make us feel pleasure in some way they all work slightly differently on our bodies.


Dopamine is the Happy Hit, it is a fast release fast working Hormone. Everybody wants some Dopamine, it's a chocolate bar eaten on the run, a quick self pleasure staring at a smartphone in the works bathroom, It's handing in a finished project. Dopamine is great but it's a quick lift and then a comedown…Oh no, more work incoming, Oh no I have to clean up this mess, Oh damm, that chocolate bar tasted good but now i'm full of sugar…and here comes the sugar high…and here comes the sugar crash.


Serotonin is the mood stabiliser, the leveller, it promotes  feelings of well-being, and happiness. Additionally, it helps decrease our worries and concerns but it's harder to work for than Dopamine. It’s the habit hormone, doing something on a regular basis promotes Serotonin production. Submitting to my tender ministrations!! Once a month will make you produce serotonin.

Endorphins are produced by the central nervous system to help us deal with physical pain Boo! Hiss!  They are released in response to pain or stress, but they’re also released during other activities, like exercise, or sex. Which is why a lot of kinky practices seem to contain a sexual edge. And again it has to be worked for. You will never get that endorphin feeling from a 60 second smartphone clip.

Oxytocin not to be mistaken for Oxycontin! Is a cocktail of the others, Dopamine and Serotonin mixed with a splash of Endorphins and garnished with a little umbrella in the glass of something else...Adrenaline.

Sometimes we all need that little hit of Dopamine, Sometimes it's all we can manage to afford timewise in our busy lives. But think of someone who exists solely on a diet  of instant gratifications, fast pleasurable foods. Someone whose mind would only ingest soundbites and two minute clips. 


Time spent with me is a banquet, an opera, a workout. Now ask yourself if you deserve that pleasure.  




So recently I took a trip to Cardiff. As a Welsh person I feel a sense of pride when Tom Jones, The Manics or the ‘Phonics play a concert, Or there is a Rugby  international on. On those days, The air in the city can be electric.

But the other day there was no large event, Which meant that the traffic was moving and the city was its usual self.  And I have lived in Cardiff for a while, I experienced its nightlife, its glamour and it's underside. I am well travelled. I've also  lived in London and spent plenty of time in Manchester, Glasgow and lots of other places.

 The Castle in the City was never occupied by Kings or Queens and when the Industrial revolution came and made Cardiff rich from the Coal and the Docks. The city built grand civic buildings, the Museum, The Courts, The City Hall and those places do look imposing but they are also copies of continental edifices.


Cardiff doesn't seem to know what it is. It hosts a huge Pride celebration but Miskys closed down. Eccentrix with its window display of all kinds of fantastic shoes has gone. (and Yes you can say its the demise of the High Street and the hands of online sales) But even the more normal mundane stuff, the high turnover of restaurants constantly opening and closing. The building of St Davids shopping centre when the Capitol shopping centre is standing  empty.  And I know to many of you reading this, it  will mean nothing. But to all my website viewers in Ponty, Newport, Port Talbot  and Bridgend of which there are many, will know where I am coming from.


 If a place's sense  of identity is tied into  what it offers, from shops to nightclubs to its discrete side. And I know there are working Dommes in Cardiff (hello my lovelies).   Cardiff is floundering, it's like a teenager trying to define its personality. And is being hamstrung by an overly strict parent. Much as though the puritan in charge would like to believe. You cannot have one without the other 


Cardiff never had a resident Aristocracy, And because the Aristocracy are no strangers to a wild and inventive lifestyle, From Catherine the Great, to the whispered rumours of Royal Patronage of the Thursday club, Edward VII’s sex chair. And the internet  rumours of the Prince of Pegging. The upper class  have always been a kinky lot. And more power to them. And to us too! Because if it's good enough for them…    


There is a very wide overlap between such things as Art, Culture, Creativity, Kink, It's not spoken about in polite society but Sex and more importantly Kink as opposed to just procration. That's the driving force behind a lot of society's advancement. From visual things like the adoption of early Photgraphy for Pornograpy, to the battle repeated again between Blu Ray DVD and 4K DVD. All through literature back to the memoirs of Fanny Hill, the story of O. The Popularity of the Brazilian wax, and beauty treatments. There have been many subtle ways society has been shaped by us.


Us Dommes are a part of society, We have always been here, we always will be here.  We exist in that overlap between what people want and what people need. 

On Findom and Scammers


So do I post this or not?
Well as a Domme with experience I think it’s prudent to post this here on my website, 


Well its a lovely idea isn’t it, the Domme gets paid for doing nothing. Or for sending a couple of photos. And men with huge wallets are just falling over themselves to pay for your everything.
And there are a few…a very few…men out there like that.

But there are a lot more people on social media who post about how much they need a Goddess to drain their wallets, Doms say something like ‘Approach.’ and the sub does nothing and the Domme gets nothing out of it.
As a general rule of thumb anyone with Finsub99 or Gooner101 in their username is either a timewaster, a bot or a scammer.

(But hang on, you have profiles with those names on your social followers.)

Yes I do. Since I lost my old SM accounts it's a way of getting the numbers back up. Plus if I am in the right frame of mind I do like to play with the crypto scammers. It’s a very very mild form of stress relief…I know what I would rather be doing and that involves real time Subs and real time implements.
I have practised Findom, But my way is very different to the way the Instadommes do it.
First I build up a relationship,  a rapport with the Sub, I find out about them.
Then we discuss limits and terms just as in all other types of sessions.
Then I expect tribute and gifts, where we both know it's a reciprocal arrangement. The sub gets to feel good from sending and I get the benefits. And it may not always be money, I have wishlists. It's nice to receive an unexpected package, of something like Makeup or toiletries, or Champagne. The Sub knows their gift will be used, sometimes it's the only way something they have sent will get close to me. Sometimes a sub gets pleasure from knowing I am wearing something that they have picked out from my wishlist and sent to me.
It's mutual, its respectful and it works for both parties.
Now scammers. And I am writing this because I had an experience with another scammer this morning. They want to always pay in crypto, they want to communicate on something like Kik Or Telegram…the ‘unpoliced’ messaging services. They also don’t tend to pick up on deliberate spelling mistakes. And they are one of the downsides of this profession.
See proper subs they know. They understand that this lifestyle is work,
If you wanted your bedroom decorated would you pay a decorator or have someone do it for nothing…and who would do the better job.
This is how findom and tribute always used to work in the days before so many different SM platforms. And to some I may be preaching to the choir, but maybe to some out there it may remind them of how the Sub/Dom relationship is supposed to work.
Now before I sign off. I saw a post (and It’s quite possible it was written by a bot account) about a Finsub who went on a date and kept excusing himself to go visit the bathroom and send money to his Findomme.
I have a few issues with this.
Firstly with the Sub. If a woman is going to get herself dressed up, make the effort and go out on a date with someone. Then even if the date doesn't go anywhere the sub should be giving his date all of his attention. One word Disrespectful
Disrespectful to all women.

Secondly with the Domme who encouraged this type of behaviour. Yes we Dommes are Goddesses and deserve worship, respect and attention. But as the saying goes. ‘Blowing out someone else's candle doesn't make your own shine brighter.’  If your sub is being disrespectful to his date then it's only a matter of time before he disrespects you.
I’m old enough to remember ‘Girl Power’. The message from that was solidarity between a group, a gang of women. All Women, I will quite happily support other Dommes and not drag them down.  Because in the long term its better for all.

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